Private Carers and Personal Care at Home

What is personal care?

Personal care is help with intimate, everyday tasks: washing, bathing and showering, dressing, oral care, shaving and grooming, using the toilet and continence care, and eating. It is often the point at which families first need outside help, because these are the tasks older people find hardest to ask a son or daughter to help with, and that family members may feel uncomfortable providing.

A private live-in carer provides personal care as part of a wider role that also includes meals, housework, medication prompts and company, so help is there whenever it is needed, not only at a scheduled visit.

Personal care with dignity

Good personal care is about how it is done as much as what is done. That means asking rather than assuming, letting the person do as much as they can for themselves, keeping them covered and warm, following their preferences about when and how they wash, and never rushing. Because a live-in carer is with the same person every day, trust builds quickly and personal care becomes a normal part of the routine rather than an ordeal.

What a private personal carer helps with

• washing, bathing, showering and hair care;
• dressing and undressing, choosing clothes;
• oral hygiene, shaving, nail care and grooming;
• toileting, continence care and changing pads;
• skin care and noticing early signs of pressure damage;
• help with eating and drinking where needed;
• medication prompts;
• transfers and moving safely around the home.

Private carers: finding one yourself or through an agency

Some families look for a private carer independently. That can work, but it leaves the family responsible for checking references and criminal records, cover when the carer is ill or on holiday, and finding a replacement if the arrangement ends suddenly. As an introductory agency, we find, interview and vet self-employed carers and introduce those who fit, and we arrange relief carers for breaks, while you keep the personal, one-to-one relationship of a private carer. Read private carers vs an introductory agency.

Paying for private personal care

Live-in personal care starts from £1,200 a week. People over State Pension age who need help with personal care may qualify for Attendance Allowance, which is not means-tested. In Scotland, personal care is free for anyone assessed as needing it. Council support after a needs assessment is also possible. See our funding guide.

How personal care is introduced sensitively

For many older people, accepting help with washing or the toilet is a significant step, and it can feel like a loss of dignity and privacy. Good carers introduce personal care gradually and with respect:

• getting to know the person before offering intimate care, where possible;
• asking how they like things done, and doing it their way;
• encouraging them to do as much as they can for themselves;
• keeping them covered and warm, and closing doors and curtains;
• using matter-of-fact, respectful language, never childish or embarrassed;
• respecting preferences about the gender of the carer.

Most people find that within a short time, personal care becomes a normal, unremarkable part of the day.

Continence care with dignity

Continence problems are very common in later life and in many health conditions, yet they are often the thing people find hardest to talk about. Carers help by establishing regular toilet routines, making sure the toilet or a commode is easy to reach, choosing suitable continence products, and paying careful attention to skin care. It is also worth asking the GP or a continence nurse for an assessment, as many causes can be treated or improved, and the NHS may provide products.

Hiring a private carer directly: what you take on

Families who hire a carer directly, rather than through an agency, usually become responsible for more than they expect. Depending on the arrangement, that can include checking identity, right to work and references; arranging a DBS check; understanding whether the carer is employed or self-employed and the tax and insurance obligations that follow; finding cover for sickness and holidays; and handling any problems or disputes. None of this is impossible, but it is worth knowing before you start. An introductory agency takes on the search, checks and cover arrangements while keeping a direct, personal relationship with the carer.

Personal care alongside health needs

Personal care often overlaps with health needs: skin that needs checking for pressure damage, catheters, stomas, or diabetes affecting the feet. Carers provide personal care within their training and competence, follow the advice of district nurses, and report anything that needs clinical attention. Clinical tasks remain with the nursing team unless a carer has been specifically trained and signed off.

Oral care and grooming

Oral care is easily overlooked, yet poor oral health can lead to pain, difficulty eating, weight loss and even chest infections. Carers help with brushing teeth or cleaning dentures twice a day, checking the mouth for sore spots, making sure dentures fit well, and arranging dental appointments. Grooming matters too: hair, nails, shaving and make-up are part of how people feel about themselves. Helping someone look the way they have always liked to look is a simple but powerful way to protect dignity and wellbeing.

Skin care and pressure areas

Older skin is thinner and more fragile, and people who sit or lie for long periods are at risk of pressure ulcers. Personal care is the ideal time to check skin: looking for redness, dryness, broken skin or sore areas, particularly over the bottom, hips, heels and elbows. Carers keep skin clean and dry, use moisturiser, encourage regular changes of position, and report any red area that does not fade to the district nurse promptly. This daily attention is one of the most valuable, and least visible, parts of good personal care.

Bathing and showering safely

The bathroom is where many falls happen, so washing is often the first personal care task people need help with. A carer makes bathing safer by checking water temperature, using a shower seat or bath board where needed, keeping floors dry and staying close by, while respecting privacy as much as possible. Many people find a regular, unhurried routine turns washing back into something relaxing.

Written by the Live-in Care Direct care team. Last reviewed 24 September 2026.

Further reading and sources

• NHS: Home care
• GOV.UK: Attendance Allowance
• Age UK: Home care